Yep.

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

-From Tozer's, "The Pursuit of God"

Despite an unbroken string of 11 blockbuster films, Catmull regularly says, "Success hides problems." It's an insight Google should acknowledge and act on. Google's leadership admirably tolerates failure on side-projects (and big projects as well), but what Pixar has that Google does not is a culture where the fear of complacency is a strong motivator, where new problems are identified, discussed, and addressed openly and honestly, all of which requires humility.

When Catmull gives a public speech or lecture, what's most noticeable is that he talks about the problems that Pixar has encountered and the mistakes that he has made. Pixar has, for example, nearly burned-out its employees on numerous occasions. Like every organization, there are also pockets of the company that are extremely resistant to change. 

Catmull freely acknowledges through his words and deeds that doesn't know what he doesn't know. When delivering a lecture at Stanford's Computer Science department in April, he compared trying to build a successful lasting company to a constant iterative creative process. "There is a lot about this process which I find mystifying still," he said, "There's certain things that I think we've got right and certain things we've got wrong." 

The pursuit of perfection is what most of us are after. It’s a noble pursuit. However, it can be an addicting one as well. You can really equate it to a drug addict or alcoholic in some ways. I found myself constantly reading. Finishing one book and picking up the next. Constantly thinking about how to achieve this or to achieve that. At the end of the day, this pursuit of perfection is all about a future state. I found it very difficult to enjoy what was happening in the now.

Very insightful and encouraging post about productivity.  

Part 1 here.

Part 2 here.

7. If you can't have joy in trials then your joy is not in Christ.  

This one is hard. (I've taught fairly extensively on this, though I don't know if the most detailed message ever made it online. I was not at Savior both times I taught it from Philippians 4:4f).  It may sound like I'm hard on myself, but I try to keep an eye on my own sense of blessedness and joy.  These are a strong indicator of worshipfulness and Christ-centeredness. When circumstances dictate, not just my emotions, but my perspective then I know that my sense of inner joy is less than established on Him.  

So what can I do?  I can repent in prayer before the Lord and ask Him to give empowering grace (by the Spirit) to change the direction of my affections.  If my heart's desires are set on the immovable Christ, my true, unchanging hope, then joy is steady even if it lies alongside irritation, weariness, sadness and grief.  

Two things about joy need to be said.  First, I have often argued that joy is both emotional and intellectual.  Many will argue that the call to "rejoice always" indicates that it must be an act of the will, and is grounded in the intellect.  In other words, it is a call to maintain a hopeful perspective and not to feel a certain way.  My next comment will clarify this further, but for now I think this is weak.  Joy is by nature emotional, and I do not think we have any evidence that God calls us to fake it or put a good face on things.  Here is my definition of joy (based on lexical study, and exegesis of Philippians 4):  joy and rejoicing speak of a deep inward sense of true well-being.  It refers to an inward sense of blessedness and deep satisfaction. This inward sense issues in joy-filled facial expressions, gracious, thankful words, positive, affirming speech, and an overall sense of well-being despite (not because of) external circumstances.  Of course, it is always joy "in the Lord". See the first 8 verses of Philippians 4:4-9!    

Second, the human soul is complex and capable of having joy alongside the full spectrum of human emotions.  In the context of suffering, Peter writes this to in 1 Peter 1:6, "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials . . ."  Grief and rejoicing together!  It is a very dysfunctional Christian who believes that they need to mask or deny legitimate sorrow, frustration, and so on in the name of rejoicing in the hope of the Gospel.  Many have given into that.  You see them at church.  They are the people who always say they are "grrrrreat!" and "blessed today!" regardless of what you may know is really happening in their life.  Not that true joy couldn't issue in that response.  It certainly could and will, but true joy is never a cover for suffering, but a testimony to Christ's glory and the hope that we have in Him despite our suffering.  

I'll stop, but see James 1:2-8, Romans 5:1-11, 1 Peter 1:3-9 (and the rest of the Bible!) for more on how joy works in the mind and life Christ's people.  

8. Suffering doesn't mean change, quit your job/ministry, divorce him/her, find a new church, or much of anything at all in terms of what God's will is for you.  

If you read the passages mentioned above, you will see that suffering is a normal part, if not an essential part, of the Christian experience.  Really, it is an unavoidable part of life in a fallen world. 

For a believer it takes on new significance as God uses it to shape our inner being in ways that simplicity and ease never could.  It forces us to turn to Him for strength and comfort in fresh ways.  That much is clear, and yet it has become common--VERY common--for believers to think there is a message from God in their suffering.  For example, someone feels "called" to go here, do this or that, and so on.  Then he finds it to be difficult, or not working out in some way.  This leads to the assumption that he "heard wrong".  Whether his decisions were good or bad are beside the point. Difficulty may force a change in our life, but they do not necessarily indicate that God is communicating displeasure or that we need to make a change.  They do remind us that we need to rejoice and seek His empowering wisdom and grace so that we can get through and benefit from the opportunities that suffering provides (see James 1:2-4).    

This is not to say that circumstances do not affect our decisions.  They should affect our decisions. My concern is rather that folks would attach the wrong significance to their difficulties. 

Part 1 here.

4. Humility is the essential element needed for true inward transformation to take place.  

I have settled on a definition of humility as consistent awareness of utter dependence upon God’s empowering grace, built upon knowledge of complete spiritual poverty (i.e. neediness).  It involves a recognition of our own sinfulness, but not in the sense that we try to exaggerate our claim to be more wicked than others.  Rather, we recognize that we are like all others, entirely fallen and utterly helpless apart from Christ's empowering work.  This leads to a posture of dependence in our every breath in the Christian life.  

The reason I say “essential element” is that without it none of God’s ways of changing us can be accessed.  When one does not recognize his own spiritual neediness for God’s empowering Spirit to bring transforming grace, it can’t be accessed.  It can’t be accessed for at least two reasons: first, a self-reliant person puts energy into trying more than asking.  Second, God opposes the proud, but gives grace (what I call empowering grace) to the humble (See James 4).  True, God is very gracious and can even work in a proud heart, but I wouldn't depend on it if I were you. 

5. Pride is often hidden, dressed in other clothes. Pride looks great as hurt. Pride wears honesty well. “Honestly, I’m just better than . . .”  Pride just wants everyone else to do their part. Pride wants to serve, but needs others to know. Pride is easily offended. Pride wants to be holy, but really just holier. Pride makes sense as confidence, but draws confidence from comparison and self-assured love of human abilities. Pride hides! Uncover it and mock it (in yourself).  

6. Idolatries make decisions harder and bring a fog of conflicted motivations.

In my experience, idols reek havoc within when I am looking for clarity when choices need to be made. For example, if I have an idolatrous desire for respect and honor from another, I find it much more difficult to respond appropriately when that person hurts, disappoints, or disregards me. My response may be motivated by how my idol has been affected or offended instead of out of love for the person, for Christ, and for good.  If I find myself  disproportionately offended or angry at someone, I have learned to suspect an idol.  I have plenty within, so I am not shocked when one pops up to disrupt my life in some way. 

Part 3 

With less than 2 weeks left on my Sabbatical this Article  from the NYT was a helpful reminder about why I took a break in the first place.  The focus in the first half of the article is largely on the demands people set on clergy.  At SaviorCC this has never really been an issue, though the demands of my time have become increasingly difficult to manage over the past year.  For me, what seemed to be an oncoming burnout developed from a combination of my church work and heavy teaching load.  Heavy for me anyway. 

One quote started to approach a significant frustration that I have been more and more aware of: 

Larger social trends, like the aging and shrinking of congregations, the dwindling availability of volunteers in the era of two-income households, and the likelihood that a male pastor’s wife has a career of her own, also spur some ministers to push themselves past their limits, she said. (Emphasis added.)

Not all apply for us, but it highlights a difficulty that I have been hearing from more and more pastors.  They simply cannot get people to meaningfully contribute time to the work.   If this is the result of social trends, it helps explain why less clergy are staying in the profession.

A 2005 survey of clergy by the Board of Pensions of the Presbyterian Church also took special note of a quadrupling in the number of people leaving the profession during the first five years of ministry, compared with the 1970s.

I am tempted to think that there is an increased pressure on pastors in the aftermath of the church growth movement.  Does the pressure to measure up to the relatively few “stars” in our field lead us to have a greater sense of failure and personal disappointment?  I think it is a valid question, but the article goes on to site common pressures among Muslim clerics, Catholic Priests, and even Rabbis.  I am not sure they have the same kind of cultural pressures to be super-successes as Evangelical pastors often do.  So it would seem to have more to do with the other broader social factors mentioned. 

Ultimately, I think we need to recognize the deeper spiritual realities underlying the issue. When a Pastor lives as if the success of God's plan depends on him, it is because somewhere deep within he believes that to be the case. I'm guilty of it. I'm in the process of repenting.  

Our spiritual growth and development is never static. Whether we are actively pursuing Christ, or have the sense of being pursued by Him, or are simply floating; our inner selves are always in a state of change and motion.  We should be careful not to have a "lesson learned" mentality about spiritual things.  That is, that we would assume we have come to understand some concept, or theological truth and then move on as if we have simply acquired another tool.  

I have often found myself and others frustrated when, having learned and internalized some fresh idea, we come back too soon after as if it had never really happened.  We can lessen our frustration by expecting that to happen.  We need constant reminding.

It is this that prompted me to try and list some specific insights that I've learned.  What follows is not so much doctrinal as much as spiritually-formational.  These are ideas that one learns when he or she thoughtfully pursues and presses into God in Word and prayer. These are those things that, for lack of a better metaphor, are better caught than taught.  They are the type of things one may hear a dozen times to no end, and then another time hear them as if they had never been spoken before. It is that word in season that grips one's heart and leaves them changed.  At least they were for me. With that in mind, I'll share them with the hope that this is a moment God has designed for you to "catch" something. 

My first motive for writing out the following list, more important to me than the potential benefit to others, is to capture some things that have felt a little slippery lately. What I mean is that these are things I've written and spoken about with strong conviction, but have felt the punchy edges beginning to melt a bit for me. I want to cast them in a way that is a bit more stony for my sake. So here is my list of insights caught in moments of light and hunger. 

1. Hate sin as sin, and not as a cause of some other negative thing.

Here God is the ultimate motivator of holiness, and not the avoidance of some other pain or consequence.  When we seek holiness because it will protect us from some undesirable effect we are always building on shaky ground. We may be propping up moral behavior by cultivating even worse idolatries.  This goes against the grain of the dozens of sermons and chapel speeches I've sat through about losing testimony or ministry on account of sin.  Fear of pain and failure can only bring us so far.  Consequences can be good motivators, but they fail to bring real heart transformation. 

2. Besetting sins are rooted in idolatry, not in desire or disease.  

If your hang up is, for example, a bad temper, there may be an idol of pride or perfectionism, or fear of man, or attachment to some status or possession that one defends with his anger. I'm certain there are a hundred other idols behind temper that could be rooted out.  Perhaps it is some inability to deny a pleasure—food, sex, wine, entertainment.  There is almost certainly a god behind the scenes who demands satisfaction.  Take food (close to home for me).  We may be tempted to declare food the idol if one can’t control his eating, but there may be an even more sinister slave master behind the curtain.  The food is making the eater feel better.  The unsatisfied idol is making the eater feel pain. 

3. Honest confession is unqualified.  

When we confess our sins properly we expose our dead, sinful self without qualification.  "I was tired," "I was disappointed," "You angered me," and so on are ways to soften our own sense of responsibility for our actions.  “I sinned and I confess and repent,” is a discipline we need to cultivate. We may fear that a person will not understand that we were having a bad day, or that there were other circumstances.  It's okay. Just another opportunity to weaken pride and cultivate a humble belief in God’s unconditional grace toward our sinful reality.

Part 2.

Part 3.

Here is a little snippet from the book I'm scratching out. Take it as a reminder to pray for me. 

Talking about humans as having a “function” may sound a little cold.  Machines and tools have functions, but people?  Yes, absolutely!  The problem we are addressing here could be summarized this way: ignorance of function leads to malfunction in human beings!

Its a start.